Day 37, Aug 5, Salida.
I was reflecting on the crossing of the country so far. I had ridden in the city traffic of San Francisco and Sacramento, climbed the Sierras, through the isolating barrenness and oppressive heat of the Nevada desert, up and down skirting the steep canyons of Utah, and over the Rockies of Colorado. Now with almost 1500 miles and 80,000’ climbing under my belt, the journey should be easier I thought. Flat until the Appalachians, right?
Then I looked at the maps and read the descriptions of the roads to come. In succession I was warned about the eastern CO dust storms, the western KS thorns known as tire-puncturing “Texas tacks”, the winds of the plains, the narrow roads and large farm equipment of the Midwest, the sharp rollercoaster hills of Missouri’s Ozarks, the narrow winding roads and large coal trucks in KY, and the abundance of loose dogs. All before the climbing in the Appalachian mountains and increased traffic. Now I don’t feel as confident. I think I’m going back to one day at a time, one mile at a time.
Expectations have a large impact on the our perceptions of experiences, don’t they? In a conversation with a lawyer in drug court in Montross, CO, I asked what she would most like to communicate to the public about what she has learned. She answered by saying that the recovery process is not linear, that relapses and set-backs are common. And yet progress and healing happen if the system works with the person, if people will not give up on them.
If I expect an easier journey through the middle of the country, yet struggle as I encounter challenges, I am likely to become discouraged or feel defeated. If I either withhold judgement or expect difficulties then I won’t be surprised and will be more likely to succeed. Our hopeful aim remains unchanged while acknowledging reality.
Our expectations can drive our perceptions and interpretations of the journey, and thus impact the the end result. So it is in recovery.
SUD is a treatable brain disease that disables decision-making.
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